The loneliest people at any gathering are almost never the ones standing alone by the wall. They’re the ones laughing in the middle of the group who will drive home afterward in complete silence and not call anyone about it.
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Most of our cultural understanding of loneliness is built around the wrong image. We picture the person eating alone, the one at the edge of the room checking their phone, the one who left early without saying goodbye. We’ve organized our sympathy around absence: the absence of people, of invitations, of someone to sit next to. And because we’ve organized it that way, we miss the form of loneliness that actually dominates most adults’ lives, the form that hides inside presence
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