The people who seem to have endless patience with difficult family members aren’t necessarily more forgiving. Many of them long ago concluded that the emotional cost of asking for change was higher than the cost of absorbing the behavior, and they’ve been paying the cheaper price for so long they forgot there was ever a choice.
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I have an aunt who has been absorbing my uncle’s comments for forty-three years. She passes the potatoes. She changes the subject. Her face does this thing where it goes completely still, the way a lake goes still, and everyone at the table exhales because the person they trusted to absorb it absorbed it again.
We call that patience. We call it maturity. In certain families, we call it being the reasonable one.
It is almost never any of those things.
How accommodation looks like patience b
We call that patience. We call it maturity. In certain families, we call it being the reasonable one.
It is almost never any of those things.
How accommodation looks like patience b
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