The definitive sign someone grew up emotionally responsible for an adult isn’t hyper-competence, it’s the inability to enjoy a calm afternoon without scanning for what they might be forgetting
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Clinical literature on parentification (the technical term for a child who takes on emotional or practical responsibility for a parent) tends to circle the same finding: the adults who emerge from these households are, on the surface, remarkably high-functioning. They organise. They remember. They anticipate. The praise comes early and rarely stops. What the research is slower to articulate, though it is there if one reads carefully, is the second half of the pattern; the half that does not look
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