The people who apologize the fastest in any disagreement aren’t the most empathetic people in the room. They’re the ones who learned early that conflict had a cost they couldn’t afford, and the apology isn’t resolution, it’s a payment to make the danger stop.
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Keely Dugan was studying data from over 1,300 people who’d been tracked since infancy when she found something that stopped her: the quality of a child’s relationship with their mother predicted how secure they’d feel in every single adult relationship decades later. Not just romantic ones. All of them. The study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, followed 1,364 children from birth through their early thirties. The finding that struck me wasn’
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