🦄 Startups & VC 2d ago · Daniel Moran

Psychology says people who over-explain themselves in ordinary conversations aren’t insecure or needy — they often grew up with adults who required exhaustive justification before they would believe, help, or simply not punish

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Psychology says people who over-explain themselves in ordinary conversations aren’t insecure or needy — they often grew up with adults who required exhaustive justification before they would believe, help, or simply not punish
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A friend cancelled dinner on me last month. The message ran to about 240 words. There was a deadline, a sick flatmate, a replacement bus service, and a closing line asking whether I was annoyed. I’d already typed “no worries, next week” before the bus even arrived.
For years I read messages like that as neediness. A bit of performance. Someone fishing for reassurance. I was wrong on all three counts, and the reason is more interesting than the version you get on Instagram.
Over

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