The idea that we most regret the things we never did is genuinely backed by research, with two refinements the slogan misses: it is specifically a long-run pattern, and the deepest of these regrets are about the person we hoped to become and didn’t
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Ask people near the end of their lives what they regret, and you tend to hear about roads not taken rather than mistakes made: the trip never booked, the words never said, the chance never chased. It is a staple of deathbed wisdom, and unusually for that kind of folk saying, it is genuinely backed by research. But the science adds two things the slogan leaves out, and both make it more precise and more useful. The first is that this is specifically a long-run phenomenon; in the short term, peopl
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