I grew up in the 1990s and the thing nobody warned me about is that the resilience my generation was praised for was just the absence of anyone asking how we were — and the adults who admire us now for being “low maintenance” don’t realize they’re describing the exact training that made it almost impossible for us to ask for help in our thirties.
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By the mid-1990s, somewhere between half and two-thirds of American kids in elementary and middle school were spending part of their afternoons unsupervised, depending on which study you trusted and what exactly you counted as supervision. The numbers fluctuated by region and by income bracket, but the general shape of the data was clear: a generation of children was being given an unprecedented amount of unstructured, unwatched time, partly because both parents were now working, partly because
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