Psychology says the people described as having a strong personality aren’t dominant or difficult, they’re the ones who stopped softening themselves to make every room comfortable, and what reads as intensity from the outside is just the absence of the apology most people are still adding to every sentence
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There’s a guy I used to work with, back in the warehouse days in Melbourne, who everyone called “a lot.” He wasn’t loud. He wasn’t rude. He just said what he thought without spending the first ten seconds of every sentence apologising for thinking it. People found him exhausting. I remember one of the supervisors describing him as “intense,” and at the time I nodded along, because that’s what you do when you’re twenty-four and still trying to
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